-20: Ouch!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I have often wondered what I would have looked like if I had chosen to be a professional athlete (after all, everyone kept telling me while I grew up that I could be whatever I wanted to be). So using my incredible computer programing skills I wrote a sophisticated piece of software that could analyze different realities, way the probabilities, measure with accuracies, tabulate consistencies, and spit out an answer to my query. The result is hardly surprising.
Well, given the obvious success of my software I ran a few other members of MvS through. Here are the results (2nd Note: these are not my opinions but rather the cold hard reasoning of complex software run by the super computer Deep Blue).
Lank:
JGW:
Space Zombie:
And Jeremy:
Huh, I don't know, but it seems like we missed our true callings. We coulda made a pretty good B-Ball team.
Well, given the obvious success of my software I ran a few other members of MvS through. Here are the results (2nd Note: these are not my opinions but rather the cold hard reasoning of complex software run by the super computer Deep Blue).
Lank:
JGW:
Space Zombie:
And Jeremy:
Huh, I don't know, but it seems like we missed our true callings. We coulda made a pretty good B-Ball team.
The big question here is whether the current governor of New York will present the Luv Gov with the Preakness trophy if he wins. The Luv Gov is named after Eliot Spitzer, the old governor. Hahahahahaha, major controversy.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
All you sports fans are going to make me bring it up? The two "hands down" favorites are on the verge of losing in the conference finals and none of you can bother to post anything?
Fine. I brought it up. And because I brought it up, I'm going to now give you some random incoherent thoughts.
Here's what bothers me. Yesterday on the bus I saw a newspaper headline: "Orlando, You're Ruining It for Us". Why does it bother me (besides making me wonder why It is capitalized but not for)? While I didn't bothering reading the article, I can guess the premise. The writer wants to see Kobe and LeBron go at it. Orlando is going to beat the Cavs. Ergo no Kobe v. LeBron. Personally, shouldn't the best teams make it to the finals?
I hate it when writers complain about a team getting eliminated that they wanted to win it all. Most often this happens in baseball where writers have the gall to say if the Yanks or BoSox aren't in the series, it doesn't matter. Not everybody loves the same damn teams.
Can LeBron really be that good if he can't get his team past the Magic when everyone seemed to be thinking it was a done deal? Would MJ have let this happen?
Anyway, whatevs. I don't even watch basketball except for when the Blazers are in the playoffs.
Fine. I brought it up. And because I brought it up, I'm going to now give you some random incoherent thoughts.
Here's what bothers me. Yesterday on the bus I saw a newspaper headline: "Orlando, You're Ruining It for Us". Why does it bother me (besides making me wonder why It is capitalized but not for)? While I didn't bothering reading the article, I can guess the premise. The writer wants to see Kobe and LeBron go at it. Orlando is going to beat the Cavs. Ergo no Kobe v. LeBron. Personally, shouldn't the best teams make it to the finals?
I hate it when writers complain about a team getting eliminated that they wanted to win it all. Most often this happens in baseball where writers have the gall to say if the Yanks or BoSox aren't in the series, it doesn't matter. Not everybody loves the same damn teams.
Can LeBron really be that good if he can't get his team past the Magic when everyone seemed to be thinking it was a done deal? Would MJ have let this happen?
Anyway, whatevs. I don't even watch basketball except for when the Blazers are in the playoffs.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Overpaid? I think not.
While DH was busy getting taken out of the game on a horrendous gift call for Lebron, Shard had to step up on the last two possessions, nailing a clutch J, followed by a game-winning 3.
Orlando knows that the refs may try to hand the Lebrons the series, but made jumpers are a play the refs can't screw up.
While DH was busy getting taken out of the game on a horrendous gift call for Lebron, Shard had to step up on the last two possessions, nailing a clutch J, followed by a game-winning 3.
Orlando knows that the refs may try to hand the Lebrons the series, but made jumpers are a play the refs can't screw up.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Dirk Nowitzki is one of the most overrated players of all time. Not only is he not fun to watch --- he's ugly, slow-footed, and takes fade away jumpers over and over again. Basically he's good because he has a nice skill set for a 7 footer, but his game is essentially that of wing AND he's also horrible defensively, which I guess people like, and part of his appeal: Bad defense leads to high scoring shootouts like Boston/Chicago --- but hes not that good at basketball. Witness his team's continuing playoff failures.
So, we know he's a loser on the court, but off of it he seems like an OK guy. Sure, he's German, so one strike there, but he hangs out with Steve Nash and get drunk, seems fun and seems to put some thought into what he says.
Thats all fine, but it turns out he's an enormous loser in personal life too. His fiance is a 7 years older, and a soon to be convict named Cristal who, based on some of her aliases may also cross-dress.
Say what? With all the NBA groupies around and with fabulous wealth, this is the best you can come up with? Horrible Dirk, horrible. You may be tall and rich but you're still a loser in Ptera's book.
So, we know he's a loser on the court, but off of it he seems like an OK guy. Sure, he's German, so one strike there, but he hangs out with Steve Nash and get drunk, seems fun and seems to put some thought into what he says.
Thats all fine, but it turns out he's an enormous loser in personal life too. His fiance is a 7 years older, and a soon to be convict named Cristal who, based on some of her aliases may also cross-dress.
[Cristal] Taylor was still in Dallas County Jail on Thursday on $20,000 bond after being taken into custody on warrants accusing her of a violating a probation sentence for two counts of forgery and one count of felony stealing in Missouri and a theft-of-service charge for failing to pay for an estimated $10,000 in dental work in Beaumont, Texas.
She was booked into jail Wednesday as Cristal Taylor, but authorities in both states have linked numerous aliases to the 37-year-old, including Crystal Ann Taylor, Christian Julie Wellington, Christian B. Travino, Crystal Nobles, Christy Nobles, Kristi Briana Westerhauf, Cristal Taylor Westerhaus, Christa A. Westerhays, Deborah Jackson, Shana Mancini, Crista Santiago, Crystal Ann Santiago, Crystall Ann Taylor and Kristin L. Rogers.
Say what? With all the NBA groupies around and with fabulous wealth, this is the best you can come up with? Horrible Dirk, horrible. You may be tall and rich but you're still a loser in Ptera's book.
I’m not particularly interested in either of the Eastern Conference semi-final series. While Boston and Atlanta may yet make things interesting I see no way they can win. Boston, after losing homecourt, is too devastated up front to handle Orlando’s size, and the Magic have enough perimeter defense (compared to say Chicago) to make Ray Allen and/or Paul Pierce’s lives difficult. I think its safe to assume Ed House isn't going to put up over 30 points again, especially now that Rafer is suspened (zing!) Cleveland is too good to not take advantage of Atlanta’s deficiencies (Mike Bibby’s D and interior size) unless Josh Smith goes nuts to compliment Joe Johnsons’ routine go-nuts-iness. Bottom line – Atlanta and Boston aren’t good enough to win without beneficial matchups they can exploit.
So, I’m looking ahead to the next round…
Defensively, I like what the Magic can do:
Lebron James, like Paul Pierce, can’t bully Hedo and Pietrus the way he would smaller wings. That means the double teams he’ll see will be tougher to pass around, forcing more jump-shooting situations – which is what you want. Pietrus seems like one of the better “Lebron-stoppers” in the league. A bigger gnat for Lebron to swat away, to be sure, but you can tire him out, at least a little, by making him work a little harder in what could be a long series.
Williams and West are good outside scorers who thrive on Lebron’s kick outs. Alston and Redick aren’t great defenders, but they should fare OK in these matchups. West isn’t a huge threat so if he tries to light up Redick so be it – those are shots Lebron could be taking. Alston just has to stay home on Williams.
Illgauskas can pull centers away from the basket. However, I think Howard is quick enough to both patrol the paint and get out on Illgauskas. If not, the Magic can throw Gortat and even Lewis at Illgauskas and not worry about getting killed because of their size.
Verajao isn’t a major offensive threat so either Lewis can handle him without much worry inside or Howard can focus a little more on help-side defense.
On the other end:
I’d worry about Illgauskas getting into foul trouble but Illgauskas and Verajao and even Wallace are big/strong/long enough to throw a variety of looks at him and keep him relatively in check inside. Like Lebron though, DH should get his no matter who guards him.
However, the other “Big” is played by Rashard Lewis, who is a matchup nightmare for Verajao or Wallace. Dragging them away from the interior takes them completely out of their games. You might see a lot of Joe Smith…
Lebron should keep Turkoglu in check and has done so in the three games they played this year.
Alston and Redick/Pietrus/Lee aren’t huge scorers, but you have to respect them from 3. West and Williams won’t be challenged but have to stay home. Regardless, West’s impact as a defensive stopper is minimized because he won’t be on either of the Magic’s 3 top scorers.
I love this matchup for Ray Lewis. It’s potentially a major advantage that Cleveland will need to counter by going small, maybe shifting Lebron to PF. It will be interesting to see if that happens.
Orlando won 2 of the 3 regular season games these teams played. Both games in Orlando where double digit victories (though Jameer Nelson was around for one of those – an early season game that Illgauskas also missed.) The other game, in Clevland, was a close one where DH was kept in check but Rafer poured in 23 to keep it close despite Shard going 0-8 from 3 and Lebron putting up 43-12-8.
The keys to this series (besides the obvious Lebron/DH playing up to their capabilities vs. being held in check) is Orlando’s ability to take advantage of the Lewis matchup and as always with him, Rafer’s ability to provide consistent productivity – offensively hitting 3s and creating shots for all the 3-shooters Orlando has, and defensively, staying disciplined enough to stick to Williams rather than going for steals. I think ultimately Cleveland will adjust to the Lewis situation and put Lebron or Joe Smith at PF. But in the meantime Orlando could win enough to pull the upset.
While I still think the Cavs will come away victors, this is to me the true NBA finals. I think Orlando will provide more of a challenge than anyone else Cleveland will see.
So, I’m looking ahead to the next round…
Defensively, I like what the Magic can do:
Lebron James, like Paul Pierce, can’t bully Hedo and Pietrus the way he would smaller wings. That means the double teams he’ll see will be tougher to pass around, forcing more jump-shooting situations – which is what you want. Pietrus seems like one of the better “Lebron-stoppers” in the league. A bigger gnat for Lebron to swat away, to be sure, but you can tire him out, at least a little, by making him work a little harder in what could be a long series.
Williams and West are good outside scorers who thrive on Lebron’s kick outs. Alston and Redick aren’t great defenders, but they should fare OK in these matchups. West isn’t a huge threat so if he tries to light up Redick so be it – those are shots Lebron could be taking. Alston just has to stay home on Williams.
Illgauskas can pull centers away from the basket. However, I think Howard is quick enough to both patrol the paint and get out on Illgauskas. If not, the Magic can throw Gortat and even Lewis at Illgauskas and not worry about getting killed because of their size.
Verajao isn’t a major offensive threat so either Lewis can handle him without much worry inside or Howard can focus a little more on help-side defense.
On the other end:
I’d worry about Illgauskas getting into foul trouble but Illgauskas and Verajao and even Wallace are big/strong/long enough to throw a variety of looks at him and keep him relatively in check inside. Like Lebron though, DH should get his no matter who guards him.
However, the other “Big” is played by Rashard Lewis, who is a matchup nightmare for Verajao or Wallace. Dragging them away from the interior takes them completely out of their games. You might see a lot of Joe Smith…
Lebron should keep Turkoglu in check and has done so in the three games they played this year.
Alston and Redick/Pietrus/Lee aren’t huge scorers, but you have to respect them from 3. West and Williams won’t be challenged but have to stay home. Regardless, West’s impact as a defensive stopper is minimized because he won’t be on either of the Magic’s 3 top scorers.
I love this matchup for Ray Lewis. It’s potentially a major advantage that Cleveland will need to counter by going small, maybe shifting Lebron to PF. It will be interesting to see if that happens.
Orlando won 2 of the 3 regular season games these teams played. Both games in Orlando where double digit victories (though Jameer Nelson was around for one of those – an early season game that Illgauskas also missed.) The other game, in Clevland, was a close one where DH was kept in check but Rafer poured in 23 to keep it close despite Shard going 0-8 from 3 and Lebron putting up 43-12-8.
The keys to this series (besides the obvious Lebron/DH playing up to their capabilities vs. being held in check) is Orlando’s ability to take advantage of the Lewis matchup and as always with him, Rafer’s ability to provide consistent productivity – offensively hitting 3s and creating shots for all the 3-shooters Orlando has, and defensively, staying disciplined enough to stick to Williams rather than going for steals. I think ultimately Cleveland will adjust to the Lewis situation and put Lebron or Joe Smith at PF. But in the meantime Orlando could win enough to pull the upset.
While I still think the Cavs will come away victors, this is to me the true NBA finals. I think Orlando will provide more of a challenge than anyone else Cleveland will see.
Look who forgot to pull out!
The needle that is you sick bastards. Seriously is anyone but Bill Simmons surprised at this point? Bigger question, does anyone actually care? If you don't think athletes are going to use everything they can to get better than you're an idiot. Competitiveness plus millions of dollars at stake, damn straight they're gonna stick a needle in their asses.
A side note, one that Simmons likes to bring up, why is that Baseball seems to be the only sport that people care if the players use performance enhancing drugs? They can't honestly believe that no athlete in any other sport uses them, can they? Just look at most football players. And what about basketball? You want me to buy into the idea that basketballers don't use steroids because muscle bulk isn't that important for them. Take a look at LeBron (not accusing him, just saying). Plus, muscle bulk isn't the only benefit. There's also faster healing, which I don't know, just might help out in a sport that sure seems to grind some people down.
I'm sick of this steroid focus on baseball. Either accuse all athletes equally as needed, or give up already.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Innocently enough I googled Yao Ming (followers of the blog know I like tall Chinese men). I was surprised by what I came across.
So, a picture of Yao and his wife, big deal right? Wrong. Yao is 7'6". How tall is Ye Li then? She's gotta be around 6'6" (unless Yao's head is taller than a foot, which mine isn't and I have a big head), since she comes up to his shoulder and is standing down slope of him. Quick tangent: Why are they standing on logs in the middle of a lake in their wedding garb?
Now, you're probably saying so what Yao's wife Ye Li is tall, so is Yao. Should he marry a short woman? Well, there is also this little tidbit:
"Yao has... stated that he wants to have a large family of his own one day..."
Now, you can take that two ways. First he could be saying that he wants a lot of kids. Or second he could be saying he wants to have LARGE kids. Personally, I think he means both. But wait, there's more. Turns out Ye Li is also a gifted athlete.
Let me break it down fo you. A very tall, athletically gifted man marries a very tall and athletically gifted woman and wants to have a large family of large kids. What's it mean? Chinese plot to rule the future of the NBA. Watching Yao beat the Blazers made me realize how potent a whole team of Yao's would be. I fear that the brain trust in China have decided to make that a reality.
Just know that you've been warned. The Yao's will rule the court.
So, a picture of Yao and his wife, big deal right? Wrong. Yao is 7'6". How tall is Ye Li then? She's gotta be around 6'6" (unless Yao's head is taller than a foot, which mine isn't and I have a big head), since she comes up to his shoulder and is standing down slope of him. Quick tangent: Why are they standing on logs in the middle of a lake in their wedding garb?
Now, you're probably saying so what Yao's wife Ye Li is tall, so is Yao. Should he marry a short woman? Well, there is also this little tidbit:
"Yao has... stated that he wants to have a large family of his own one day..."
Now, you can take that two ways. First he could be saying that he wants a lot of kids. Or second he could be saying he wants to have LARGE kids. Personally, I think he means both. But wait, there's more. Turns out Ye Li is also a gifted athlete.
Let me break it down fo you. A very tall, athletically gifted man marries a very tall and athletically gifted woman and wants to have a large family of large kids. What's it mean? Chinese plot to rule the future of the NBA. Watching Yao beat the Blazers made me realize how potent a whole team of Yao's would be. I fear that the brain trust in China have decided to make that a reality.
Just know that you've been warned. The Yao's will rule the court.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Is it not supremely comical to watch Kenny Smith try to operate the drag'n'draw device? Its like this unnecessarily high tech but-not-really version of Xs & Os, except with player mug shots and poor interface. He spends five minutes trying to move two icons and draw a few squiggly lines--then they show clips of the actual play for about ten seconds. The entire affair really is quite humorous. A great addition to halftime.
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